Because it’s your fault if you don’t get what you want.

When I was much younger - sometime in primary school, around the age of 12 - I snuck some food into class. I don’t remember what it was, probably a lolly of some form.

I felt pretty good, eating a sweet in class. That was until the teacher saw me and said, “Do you have enough for the whole class?”

I thought for a moment how to answer, but in the end said, “No”.

She then told me to spit it into the bin. I felt pretty bad.

About a week later, I felt pretty good. I brought in a whole bag of lollies. I knew, if the teacher saw the lollies before class, they would be taken away (I had many experiences of my things being taken by teachers, but that’s another story…). I hid the bag in my desk, ready for use.

About halfway through class I popped a lolly into my mouth and began to suck loudly. This time it took the teacher a little while to notice. When she finally did, quite predictably she asked again, “Do you have enough for the whole class?”

Taking my que, I say “yes”, stood and start to hand them out happily. The teacher, much to my surprise, yells at me, takes my bag of lollies and has me sit in the hall for the rest of the class. I sit in the hall wondering what I did wrong. Obviously bringing enough for everyone was not the correct response.

When the teacher came out, she asked if I knew what I did wrong. I had to say no. She explained that it was against the rules to eat in class. I knew enough making the obvious statement of “But last time I had to bring enough for everyone”, or “Why didn’t you say that the first time” would just get me into more trouble.

This was not the only time in my life when I was punished for someone else’s poor communication.

I’ve experienced this happen over and over again. You might have experienced it too. You can tell when comments like these arrive: