A while ago I [1] discussed some of the words to avoid in sales.

There are more of the same for any environment - particually management.

One particularly nasty version that I encounter often is:

Other person: “My idea is …”
Manager: “I Understand, But…”

It makes me just want to slap the manager in question.

Just in case it’s not apparent to you, dear reader, the manager has just insulted the other person (you’ll often hear it with the manager cutting the other person off mid statement), and then ignoring everything that was just said to restate their own agenda.

Just imagine for the moment that you’re the other person and was responded to in this way. What is your response? Chances are you’ll restate your initial idea, and then the manager will restate theirs. Back and forth we go, usually to end in anger, frustration and a degrading relationship.

But, (that word is useful when used purposefully) there are some simple changes that can be made in the managers (or your own) response that will ensure the communication and relationship continues.

First replace the ‘understand’ with ‘respect’, ‘appreciate’ or ‘agree’.
Second replace the ‘but’ with ‘and’.

Going through that same conversation again:

Other person: “My idea is …”
Manager: “I appreciate that and …”

Nothing else needs to be different and suddenly the communication is very different.

If you have read more of my writing, you will know that this is not just limited to managers. You can use this with angry customers, upset friends and even family members to defuse a conflict.

Technorati Tags: [2] Business, [3] Change, [4] Communication, [5] Management, [6] Negotiation, [7] Persuasion, [8] Psychology