How to silence your internal dialogue December 11, 2006
Your infernal internal dialogue can be brought under control. You might, at this time, think that it doesn’t slow you down that much. I can assure you, unless you have control over it, it does.
Some examples of how internal dialogue hamstrings you include:
- Reading speed is doubled if you don’t internally verbalise the words you are reading.
- You are able to reach a place of Flow much easier and your Flow states are extended (one of the most common interrupter of flow states is Internal Dialogue)
- It is often a common cause of insomnia.
- It impairs your learning by distracting you from the learning environment and by stuffing whatever the current topic is into what you already know (This is not what I consider learning).
- It often increases the stress you experience.
- It serves as a powerful de-motivator. How many times have you talked yourself out of something?
There are many more examples of how your performance can improve once you stop talking to yourself. Internal dialogue has it’s place I want you to understand that. Unfortunately most of us over use our internal dialogue, at the wrong times and wrong places.
I had breakfast the other day with friends who have an 8 month old child. I was awed by the silence in her (One of the common experiences that occurs when your internal dialogue is off, is that you can sense other people’s). She was simply there, watching, learning and experiencing the world. Of course, being 8 months old, she does not yet have the capability for any dialogue, let alone internal. And after reading Kathy Sierra I decided to build this list.
So without further delay, here is a list of methods you can use to get control over this internal dialogue. When I remember or find more, I’ll add them to the list. If you have any of your own, please add them in the comments!
- Restate your internal dialogue immediately after hearing it. This brings your internal dialogue under your conscious control by breaking the pattern.
- Move the location of your internal dialogue into your voice box. Most people listen to their dialogue coming from a specific location. Often from the back of their head and off to one side. Move that location to where you physically speak from and it usually silences the chat.
- You can also extend on #2 by moving the voice to different locations for different effects. Some locations work great for motivating you, others for de-motivating. Experiment.
- Further on #2 and #3, you can externalise the voice. Set up a chair, and hear the voice coming from that chair. You can then have a proper conversation with it!
- Pick a personal mantra, then use it. “Shut the hell up” is one such mantra:-)
- Not really a method, but helps understanding. Who, when your internal dialogue is chattering away, are you speaking to?
- Using the 6-step reframing method from NLP. This method uses a signal system to set up with your unconscious mind that allows you to negotiate the times and places to turn on or off your internal alogue.
- Imagining a volume control knob. Turn up the volume of your internal dialogue, and turn it all the way down.
- If you have internal dialogue that you don’t like very much, changing the tone often helps. Turn the tone into the most seductive, most sensual voice you can imagine. How do you feel about it now?
- While rare, sometimes the voice we hear is actually another voice - a parent for example. In these cases, give the voice back to the original owner.
- Writing out the words your internal dialogue speaks often helps. Usually it runs out of things to say very quickly. With critical statements, you can also then write out counter examples stating how untrue or over generalised these statements are.
- Act. If there is something that you want to do, for example talking to a stranger, hesitation will ensure you talk yourself out of whatever action you considered. If you hear that voice, ignore it and act.
- Remember the silence. While you read this sentence, I want you to read it out loud. Half way through a word in a sentence, pause. You mind will, naturally, go on silent hold. Remember this ‘feeling’ and you can bring it back when you want by doing the same with your internal dialogue. With proper practice, you can keep that pause indefinitely.
- Wide peripheral vision. Imagine you are balancing an apple on the top of your head. Now move the apple about 2 inches back. Keep your attention on the apple. Now look at the world around you and notice your hands on the keyboard, the top of the monitor, the walls on your left and right and the other objects around you. Notice them all at the same time. Chances are your internal dialogue has quietened down.
Add your comments with your own methods for silencing the harshest of critics!
Technorati Tags: Brain, Change, Communication, Learning, Motivation, Psychology, Stress
Suffering from burnout? December 6, 2006
The New York Magazine is running a feature story on burnout.
They offer some interesting ideas, and point to some of the research that is out there. I’ve been in a similar situation and you can read part of the story here. The rest of the story I’m saving for the introduction of my book on stress reduction. Yes, it’s still being written and researched. Yes, it’ll be ready when it’s ready.
Because of the experience of that story, I’ve collected a professional group together for making sure you don’t burn out, and in case you already have, put you out and fix you up. Details can be found here.
Update: Jory Des Jardins explores the causes of worker burnout. A useful article on the interactions between company culture and worker burnout.
Technorati Tags: Business, CEO, Change, Productivity, Stress
Not getting the results you want? Remember to breathe.
The results you achieve are directly related to your physiology. What this means is that if you are tired, sore and depressed, your results will be very different to when you are energised, focused and relaxed. To put it another way, if you show me someone performing in the world, I can show you how their physiology continues to reinforce the results this person is getting.
One of the simplest things you can do to alter your physiology is to change your state. The easiest way to do this is alter your breathing. Throughout your life your breathing changes in response to your environment. If you are stressed or anxious, your breath is fast and shallow. After a run you breathe heavily. As a child, to cry you breathed in a different way. When you sleep, your breath slows and deepens. When you are surprised you give a sudden intake of breath. When you relax there is often a sigh. All these and more are common, universal changes in breath. They are automatic and unconscious, and are a response to what your body is doing. What most people don’t realise, however, is that your body responds in turn to how you are breathing.
An example you can play with yourself: your heart naturally slows as you breathe out, and speeds as you breathe in. When you think about it, this makes sense as there is less oxygen in your lungs on your breath out than on your in breath. So if you ever want to slow your heart rate, you can take a very fast in breath, and then an extended slow out breath. Or, if you want to speed it up, do the opposite.
If at any time you find your results are not meeting your expectations, change your breathing. And the easiest method I teach is one your body already knows. If you are like most people I teach stress reduction and peak performance techniques to, you don’t know you already know. Take a deep breath in, and then sigh heavily. Notice how you feel when you do this. Usually your shoulders will drop a little, and other muscles will relax. If you then consciously relax as much as you can when you sigh, you increase the effectiveness of this single breath.
Technorati Tags: Change, Presenting, Proactiveness, Stress