How to build Self Confidence Part 2 February 18, 2007
This is the second part of how to build self confidence. You can find the first part here.
2. Proclaim your achievements
We can successfully do so many things. We too are great achievers. But part of the society we live in teaches us to brood over our failures and make our lives miserable. If we proclaim our success to everyone we meet, we are branded egotistical, self centered, or worse. Unfortunately this means we don’t proclaim our achievements, even to ourselves.
Society has also taught us that our failures are pointed out much more than success. When we were back in school, if we spelt a word correctly, we might have a tick. If we spelt it wrong we always got a cross. At work, if we do what is required we might receive a thankyou, if we don’t we get told about it every time.
Both of these reasons are why we need to support ourselves by focusing on our achievements much more than our failures.
And the easiest and most effective way to do this is every time we do something positive, good or worthwhile is to give ourselves encouragement. This doesn’t have to be at the end of a long achievement either. Sincerely congratulating yourself for starting to do your tax helps, for example. This positive re-enforcement when you make positive gains towards your goals works wonders and builds, little by little, our self confidence.
3. Feel good about yourself
No one can make us feel inferior without our permission. To boost our self-confidence first of all we must feel good about ourselves. To believe that we are a worthwhile being. The secret of all successful and happy living is to love oneself first.
When I am unhappy with myself I see unhappiness everywhere and I make all those around me unhappy. I must accept myself and feel good about the way I am, the way I look, my size, my shape, and my abilities.
So how do we feel good about ourselves? Through doing another exercise. When I offer the exercise to clients they laugh and say that would never work for them. Yet every time they have done the exercise, vast improvement has been made. Are you skeptical enough to do the exercise every day for a week? The exercise is very simple. Give yourself 5 compliments a day. They might be all in the morning, all 5 at night before bed, or spread through the day. It doesn’t matter about the type of compliment, or what it’s about. They do have to be about you, and sincere. Do the exercise and I promise your self-confidence will grow.
4. Find challenging goals
I’m a big believer in goals. Goals can do miracles in our lives. Greater the goals greater is our self-confidence. We should have both small goals and big goals. The achievement of small goals will give us enthusiasm and self-confidence to keep moving towards bigger and more challenging goals.
If we pick a goal that is too far outside our comfort zone, not only will we be unlikely to achieve the goal, but our self-confidence is disrupted. If the goal we set is too easy, while we are likely to achieve the goal, our self-confidence doesn’t improve.
Every time you achieve a small or large goal, congratulate yourself. Positive re-enforcement works much better than negative re-enforcement. I’ve talked about goals before here.
5. Add in commitment and passion
Our self-confidence depends on the degree of our commitment to a goal. If we are mediocre and half-hearted the result will be the same. Being able to commit ourselves to success and become passionate
about what we do, helps us dramatically. This passion and commitment also builds our self-confidence. When we have commitment and passion, backed up by knowledge and skills we become more self-confident. This in turn supports our commitment and passion.
So the bottom line, use these skills to improve your self confidence and you will indeed do miracles.
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- Posted in : Business, Change, Management, Mind, Motivation, Psychology
- Author : Michael
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[...] Update: You can find the second part here. [...]