jump to navigation

Simple non-verbal communication changes get massive response January 29, 2009

Late last year I spent the week training in Korea. I love Korea, the food a great, the people are friendly. And the shopping – wow!

But this post is not about how good Korea is, but how non-verbal communication drives face-to-face communication.

Let me give you an example. The class contained only Koreans. Their primary language is Korean. English is a distant second (or third or fourth!) So on the first day when I asked a question, I would get no response. The first question I asked? “Can everyone speak English?” The response; silence.

Two days later, we are having an interaction, a conversation. Their English is ok. Not perfect but perfectly understandable. They are (and were able to) on the first day understand me. What changed them from silent attention to asking questions?

One specific non-verbal behavioural change on my part.

I play with things – all the time. If I’m not, then I’m thinking about how to. I also test, constantly. I try things in new ways, use tools where they are not meant to be used, push boundaries and edges. Doing so keeps me interested and learning. This is play.

So after lunch on day two, I started playing with facial expressions. Normally, I smile a lot – but I decided to stop and freeze my facial expression. Suddenly the students started asking questions. Confused, I slipped back into my regular smiling and they lost interest with my answers and didn’t ask more. It was like turning on a switch. Freezing my face induced more questions. Back and forth it went.

One ’simple’ change and my results change. What simple thing can you change in yourself to get different results?

Share this post:
  • email
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • FriendFeed
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
  • StumbleUpon
  • Twitter

Comments»

no comments yet - be the first?

I LOVE to hear from you, and think of this blog as a big dinner party. You're my invited guest, but if you're being rude and obnoxious I'll let the bouncer toss you. So please, argue and debate all you want, but be civil about it. Also, if you don't see your comment right away, it means I've turned on moderation to fight the evil spammers. It'll show up soon.