Who’s on your side? July 29, 2009
A year ago today I got access to an online group called Triiibes.com. The entire group, like me, joined without knowing what we were joining.
A short while before joining Seth Godin asked to pre-purchase his latest book (Tribes), sight unseen, to get access to the group, also sight unseen.
It was a leap of faith, and it was well worth the leap.
Over the year this diverse group has asked, given and shared advice, implemented many new businesses, made a difference and changed the world.
I’m constantly surprised and awed by the skill, expertise, humour, and support that flows freely.
We were on Seth’s side in the beginning. Willing to support him in an unknown adventure. I suspect it grew much larger and further than he ever expected. And now, a year later, the Triiibe members have bonded and are helping each other to do and be more. That kind of support is needed in any environment.
Call it your mastermind, friends, associates, or mentors. This group is willing to listen to your problems, and share their own. Willing to offer you suggestions, and implement yours. Be able to honestly and openly communicate, even when it’s difficult. All of this came for me with a leap of faith a year ago. These are the people who are on my side.
Who’s on your side?
P.S. For more reading on the Triiibes experience from others, have a look here.
Stress can happen anytime. Are you ready? July 14, 2009
Last Sunday evening and Monday morning were very stressful for me.
A friend of mine was getting married on the Sunday. This is stressful for the bride, groom, wedding party, parents and maybe the ex’s. This wasn’t at all stressful for me. It was a very beautiful ceremony and I was proud and honored to be there. The stress started once I left.
I needed to fly to Perth from Sydney. I needed to leave Sunday night for several reasons. First because Sydney closes their airport between 10pm and 6am on Sunday. Second because to leave in the morning the 4+ hour flight time to Perth doesn’t get me there till after 9am when I was due to start training.
My Sunday flight leaves at 7:20pm. That means I need to get there, absolute latest at 6:55. I leave the wedding at 6:00 thinking with 5 minutes to get a cab and a 20 minute ride, I have plenty of time.
Little did I know how difficult that would be.
First off, there seemed to be that every taxi either ignored me, or were already busy, driving right by. For 30 minutes I stood in the cold wind trying to flag down a cab, getting more and more concerned about missing my flight.
I was constantly re-assuring myself that I still have time, that it’ll all be ok. That I’ll get the flight.
Finally, at 6:30, I get in a cab. We have a brief talk and he, being local and a taxi driver, that we ‘might just make it’. I’m reassured by this for about 3 minutes before I start fretting again. For twenty five minutes I flip between being relaxed and enjoying the drive to tense anxiety of missing my flight. I breathe, relax, and calm myself after every wave of anxiety.
I arrive just as the news on the radio starts. 6:00 pm. “Might just make it” I think…
I enter the terminal to find sets of lines in front of every counter. Bolstered by my anxiety I stroll past everyone in the first class line straight to the next available attendant.
“I hope I’m can still get on the Perth flight,” I say.
The attendant types a few keys. “No. The flight closed,” he looks at his watch, “10 minutes ago.” My heart sinks. He thinks for a moment and then looks at my usual giant check in luggage.
(In hindsight, this might have been an opportunity for me to get on the flight, leaving my luggage behind (and shipped the following day) I didn’t ask if that was possible because in that instant I was more focused on me rather than the attendant.)
“Is there any chance I can get on the flight?” I ask hopefully.
“None. The system is all automatic, it’s closed.” He replies.
“No chance at all?” I ask for the third time. Third time’s a charm, as they say, and usually is.
“None. Sorry. Let me see if there is a later flight.” I wait, knowing full well that my flight is still filling and that the next flight is tomorrow morning. I still hope I can get on this plane. “The next flight is ten past six tomorrow morning. You’ll have to talk to our sales desk to get it changed.”
I sigh. Then smile and thank the attendant. Walking to the sales desk I scold myself in frustration and anger. This is short lived as I sigh again, this time loudly. I shake my arms and legs as I wait in line at the sales desk flicking off the nervous energy I generated during the taxi ride.
At the sales desk, thankfully, there are 2 seats left for the flight. I hand over my credit card and head back to another taxi.
When I get home, I make a bunch of phone calls, booking another taxi for the morning, calling the hotel I was going to be arriving at in about 5 hours time, calling the organisers for the week to let them know I’ll be late. I then spend another few minutes laughing and moving around the house while I think of the situation. This burns off the last of the remaining negative emotion and energy of the last ninety minutes.
I sleep fitfully, waking several times to look at the clock to make sure I’ve not overslept. Each time I do, I remind myself to relax, sleep fully and with pleasant dreams until 5 am. I’m still out of bed 10 minutes before the alarm.
I shower, shave, get dressed, repack into carry on luggage and prepare for the taxi. I’m relaxed and resigned to arriving at the training late.
That’s when I notice an SMS from the cab company. Taxi has been waiting for 5 minutes. I look out, but don’t see it. My heart skips a beat as I realise it probably waited for a few minutes, then left.
I call the cab company to find out what happened. They call me back a few minutes later to say there was a problem with the cab. Time is now 5:15 and my anxiety starts to rise. I have a 10 minute taxi ride from home to the airport and 25 minutes to get there. “Still plenty of time” I say to myself as I pace up and down the footpath waiting.
“The taxi says they are 15 minutes away,” The cab operator tells me.
“That’s going to be too late,” I say. “Contact other another taxi as well for me, please. Call me back with details.”
Time ticks slowly past 5:20. Then 5:21. Then 5:22. My anxiety is now high in my chest. I can feel my heart pushing against my ribs, and then my phone rings.
“Yes?”
“The driver tells me he’s less than two minutes away.” The taxi operator says.
“He’d better be,” I say with as much mirth as I can before hanging up.
True to their word, the cab arrives 2 minutes later. Time is now 5:25, and we’re pushing it. The cabbie is apologetic, but does his best to get me there on time.
By luck or intent, we catch every single green light. I know, I counted. We arrive at the airport at exactly 5:38. I grab my carry on bags and race to the counter. On the way I pause to use the automatic check in. This fails to work, giving me an error that was probably along the lines of ‘flight closed’. To be honest I didn’t take any notice, but again rushed to the start of the first class queue.
“I’m hoping, again, to get on the Perth flight.” As I say with deep concern that I again missed the flight.
Tap. Tap. Tap. “Any baggage to check?”
At this point I feel my shoulders release and my face slacken, I made it! “No.” I reply.
I made it. Just. After 2 minutes getting through the security check, and another 3 to walk to the gate I arrive to find the gate open and a line forming. I sigh, relaxing.
Stress can happen any time. If I had not, prior to this event, practiced the various methods of stress reduction I used, it’s unlikely I would have been able to keep my stress from overwhelming me.
I practice these things when I don’t need them, so when I do need them they are available. Practice like your life depends on it – because it usually does. My Sunday night, Monday morning and the rest of the week would have been vastly different if I didn’t.
What do you practice?
More stress is better! July 9, 2009
Day to day, I train people to do new things.
Every day is different, and yet every day I’m helping someone break out of their comfort zone, expand their boundaries, learn and grow.
All across the internet you can find articles, posts and comments about how to overcome stress. Thing is, stress is good! The more stress the better!
Well, there is an upper limit. Too much stress can and does kill. As long as you handle the stress, the more the merrier.
Take for example the Olympics. Most, if not all of the world records set are set when the Olympics are on. Combined with the world championship, very few happen elsewhere. Even the athletes so called ‘personal best’ is usually broken when under the pressure of the final. Why is this?
One reason is that stress expands capacity. If you were a body builder and only ever lifter 1kg weights, you’ll rarely reach your full potential. Only when you lift more than before, stretch beyond your best, reach further than before, step outside your comfort zone, add extra stress to your performance do you get better.
Push past your comfort zone regularly. Don’t do it continuously, that’s a sure way to burnout! But push yourself, respond to the demand then relax. The more you can do this, the faster and better you’ll get…