Bossing your boss

You can't control the behavior of anyone else - the only person who's behavior you can control is yourself. And if you control your own behavior effectively enough, the people around you will change their own behavior in response. But don't take my word for it, test it out for yourself with this little experiment.

Next time you are in a conversation with someone, talk as you would normally talk. Then when they make a statement, any statement, simply smile and nod. Notice what they do. Later in the same conversation when they make another comment, keep your face blank and nod. Again notice what they do. All you have done is smiled or not in response to a comment and that one simple thing most probably caused a vast change in their behavior! And smiling is only the tiniest part of what's possible.

Here is a list of of the 7 most important things you can do consistently and in every interaction with your boss that will 'manage' them.

1. Tell the truth. Never pretend to be someone you are not. Your boss will see straight through any falseness.
2. Encourage the results you want.
3. Discourage the results you don't want.
4. Use all the information you get about your boss. Non verbal cues, modalities or verbal patterns are only a small part of these pieces of information.
5. Make the rules. Based on the above.
6. Using language patterns to get your message accepted.
7. Ask the right questions that will give you the information you need.

Now this list is short and sweet, and I know you are saying, great that's what I need to do, now how do I do each of these? Each of these points is quite involved, and is best taught with a behavioral example. What this means for you is that it is a challenge to learn these skills from reading alone and in fact may be detrimental to the results you want!

Please feel free to contact me and I will attempt to give you the best directions for what you want to achieve.

Michael Vanderdonk - 5/12/2002


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